thoughts.voices.secrets.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

im so depressed that i duno where to start from.

it all started when i woke up this morning. already i felt that idiotic stomach-churning feeling again. then on the way to sch my whole brain went blank and i felt like crying alr. though it was not 100% that i know for all chpts but i realli put in my best for all that i know alr. the moment i flipped the exam paper, i knew it was all over. it looks as if i sat for an arabic language paper. it was totally different from wad we had practiced and done in class as well as at home. i wanted to faint sia. so i sat there and force myself to think and write some things out for the whole 3 hours. i realli squeezed my brain juice dry. lots of ppl left after the compulsory one hr. even the past exam questions that i did is not like that. totally made me go into depression sia. i duno wad im gg to do for the rest of the papers.

if i can even get one mark for the whole paper, i will be luffing my ass off. thats hw difficult the paper is. kns. and one thing i dun like is that if u write 5 pages or less they may not even mark ur paper at all. cus they say its meaningless. at least mus let ppl c if what they wrote was correct wad.

i wanted to tell my mum abt this, but i didnt wan to stress her with all the stresses that shes already having. its realli nt easy being in her position. she has lots of things to handle. shes very worried that i may study till i go mad - cus i cope myself in the room the whole day to study. and one thing im very grateful is that my parents nv give me any form of stress at all.

as liting says, the worst has yet to come.

i dunno how i am gg to survive for the next 3mths.

im realli worried for my future.

its not possible to not put stress upon myself.

the thought of quitting sch and giving up once, no twice went through my mind.

but i've decided that i wun gif up. even if i take 10 yrs to graduate from sim, i still will continue.

for now, i still need some time to jump out from the cf paper.

chocolates from the petrol kiosk that i bought just now doesnt help me at all.

what i need, i guess, are shoulders, ears and maybe some tissue paper.

eiLeen signed off @
12:43 AM

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

im dying from information overload.

and im super sleepy now.

*yawns*

but i tink i can oli sleep at 6am today.

its been long since i last took an exam. tests not realli counted cus coverage not as wide.

to be honest,

im very afraid of...

failing.

eiLeen signed off @
12:37 AM

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

its my break time! so im here to tou lan. didnt want to touch the scv remote. later i 3am then resume my revision.

haha, after reading ms shoot's tag, i decided that the topic of this post will be on:

my study table

i duno if this table was moved over to this hse from our ex-hse when moving here, but judging on the wear and tear, im quite certain it is. if thats realli the case, then this table has been with us for quite a number of years. it accompanied me through my pri & sec sch life, esp for the 3mths of revision for my O levels. i did my 10 year series there, fell asleep on it, maybe oso dripped puddles of my saliva on it while sleeping (eeks!). haha.

and now im using it for my exams.

why i use this instead of my original study table?

cus no space! haha. my table so full.

and also:

sitting on this chair for long hrs is uncomfortable.

and so:

tada!

this table big enuf for my everything and i get to sit on the bed comfortably!

haha i sound so... sentimental (???) abt this table? maybe i shall name it.

if its a boy, it will be called Study and if its a girl, it will be called Table!

super lame and unfunny.

ok, enuf of my table-ramblings.

its time for my revision again.

wish me luck!

Till then!

eiLeen signed off @
12:35 AM

Monday, February 25, 2008

yeah! dad and mum are reaching spore in 4hr's time. going to fetch them later. hope i dun get myself lost at the airport.

***

this phobia feeling is overwhelming.

i dun like it.

doesnt help that pms is engulfing me right now too.

my moods swing faster than u can say the word 'haha'.

i carn even 'haha' out at all now.

:'(

eiLeen signed off @
3:13 PM

Sunday, February 24, 2008

after so long on wondering why i canot make changes to my fonts everytime i blog, i finally got the answer today, which is like so ridiculous la. haha. just right in front of me and yet i dunno.

***

i am still trying my best to finish up as much syllabus as i can for the prelims, which is like climbing up Mount Everest. ntes pilling up as high as it and as i go up (through) higher and higher through the stack, the lesser the supply of oxygen there is, leaving me almost breathless. no joke leh, last time poly 3mths plus i alr want to die. now this one ard 1yr's worth of notes, dunno mus die how many times. haiz.

i still hafto finish up my cf b4 i can slp, so that i can start on my poa tml. and i set my alarm at 12pm which i defintely will off it and go back to slp.

can sme1 pls install a 72hrs/day system into my life?

my warzone until end of may.

this is what i do when im taking a break. smetimes for break my hand will stretch and reach for the scv remote... and ya the next 30 mins or so will be wasted.

ok i realli have to hit back on my notes alr. if nt by 12pm oso canot finsh my cf.

arrgghh!

somebody save me!

:(

eiLeen signed off @
5:30 AM

Sunday, February 17, 2008

i love this pair of heels that i bought.

i like the ribbon at the toe area!

eh, but its not so fun walking ard with it the whole day.

but i still love it!

woohoo!

haha!

super nice delicious dinner at Hog's Breath as usual!

yummy!

i want to go again!

pics coming soon!

***

now its really really high time for me to cram all the exam topics into my stopped-new-year-mood brain.

***

its a happy happy day!

eiLeen signed off @
11:57 PM

Saturday, February 16, 2008

was so tired when i woke up this morning. wanted to skip cf initially and just go for macro. haha but i forced myself to wake up la but i was still late. and so had 6 hrs of lecture today. we were so tired during macro - becus it was straight after lunch! lol. luckily all the writing and drawing of graphs kept us awake. and time passes faster this way too.

after sch went to parkway to meet mum.

i am SUPER HAPPY with my purchases!!!!!!!!!!!

realli super duper euber fuber guber huber happy!

haha!

hehe!

oh and my hp has given up on me. totally gone haywired. either they ask me to insert sim card (when i didnt even touch for like since i bought the phone?), or my conversations got ended abruptly, or my conversation with others alwis ended in pieces and many more.

i was thinking of the samsung one or the nokia one, but i finally decided on N82. wanted to go buy today, but a lot of ppl. then also a tad ex leh. 800+ leh w/o contract. i can upgrade 1 yr la but dun tink will be much lesser. so i decided to wait till march b4 i go buy it. hopefully by then it can drop by a hundred or so and by then i can upgrade 2 yrs of subscription liao.

***

feel a bit bad abt this leh, haiya how to say lah, just dun feel to gd abt this. first and last time anyway.

***

im soooooooooooooooooo tired. im in need of 24hrs of slp.

eiLeen signed off @
10:34 PM

Friday, February 15, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!
(which is abt 4hrs late).

just finished clearing everything after praying to Tee Gong (Tian Gong). and spend somewhat like 1 hr being a detective with mum.

had a very long day today. woke up early in the morning (i oli slept at 4 plus in the morning) for the eRev thingy. super funny la when we are choosing the timetable, cus we didnt want the same thing to happen again (when we are choosing our very first class timetable).

after conferencing, it was 8.35am when i hit back the pillows. alas, carn fall aslp immediately. so drag and drag until dunno wad time then slp. then woke up late for the lecture. at first was so tired that i didnt want to go but i forced myself la.

and oh! i received my V day's pressie in sch!

tada!

carn see what it is?

mini cupcakes!

they were so cute-tiful la. haha and its handmade.

thanks jasmine!

***

after sch, i drove to a nearby mkt near home to da bao lunch and asked if my bro wants some food. and i saw that theres a new sushi stall! haha! now dun haf to travel all the way to TM to buy sushi!

eh but hor, the auntie's attitude like not so nice leh. then hor, while she was packing and my back was facing her cause i was choosing sme more, when just nice i turn back and saw her using her baRe hands picking up the sushi piece that had fallen out of its box. i was thinking if i didnt saw that will she ask me to take another box? ya la bad of me to think in this way but... ya base on the circumstances i think she will act as if nth has happened. so it makes me think twice if i want to buy sushi from there again.

***

bcus i was the oli person in the car and theres no one to hold on to the plastic bag of soup-y stuff, i put it at the passenger's leg rest area. i was so worried that the soup will spill out that i began to check while driving la, and true enuf, soup began to seep out. luckily, i came upon a red light and hurriedly clear the mess and super heng that the soup oli seep out a little and that it was within the leather mat and not the one beneath it - that will be difficult to clean up. i was on the way then to fetch my mum home so i had to endure driving with oli my right hand free. super tedious and the 2 packets of soup super super super heavy. super dangerous la - cus i haven train myself to drive in this way - esp when im doing a turning.

***

was burning joss paper just now when this conversation came up:

(my stomach was rumbling)

me to mum: aiya i wan to pang pui (let out some natural gas) alr.

mum to me: terrible (and laughed).

me to mum: of cus i wun let it out now la, so rude leh.

mum to bro: see, yr sister want to let out natural gas liao.

bro to mum: can say in a more nicer way nt?
she wants to pollute the air.

mum and i: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

my bro super funny la. mum and i laughed till i tink the whole neighbourhood got awoken up by our laughter.

haha!

***

was still feeling a tad guilty that the ending for her wud be this way. but, after watching it just now, i tink our decision is right. gave her too many chances alr. shall not ponder abt it again. 2 more weeks and it'll be over.

***

tired liao... i want to read my CLEO and go to bed alr!

nitez!

eiLeen signed off @
3:58 AM

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

mum added a new recipe to the sim's family cookbook yesterday:

the toothpicks soup.

she pick up the whole container of toothpicks and poured it into her soup, thinking it was the pepper container.

her mind must be bogged down by the 2 maids thingy again.

which is another very long story.

nvm, its coming to an end soon.

***

super yummilicious, available at The Laguna.

actually the food at Laguna are all very nice. wad my family like are the wasabi prawns, peking duck, scallops with brocolli and so on. their yusheng oso very yummy.

there was this new dish that we tried called the mongolian chicken, which we were told was marinated for 2 days.

true enough, very nice! how nice? nice until...

left chicken head oli! i duno where's the backside though... lol!

another very funny thing, becus it was a table for 15 people, the table super huge and when its time for us to toss the yusheng, it was too far for everyone to reach the middle of the table, so what we do is to push the plate ard and toss it! haha. first time tossing it this way.

i want to go Laguna to eat again! hu wants to go with me...

***

prelims is exactly 2 weeks away = trouble for me.

eiLeen signed off @
8:23 PM

Saturday, February 09, 2008

went for a midnight movie with my cussies and bro yesterday night.

and we came upon a road block on our way home.

my first time since i started to drive.

the police just waved me over,

but i was like so super excited abt it la!!!

haha.

i dunno y.

maybe im just pure crazy.

hahahahahahahahahahahahah.

heheheheheheheheheheheheh.

lolololololololololololol.

:)

eiLeen signed off @
4:58 PM

Thursday, February 07, 2008

i carn fall aslp, in fact i've been tossing and turning for a long time alr. it all started with the sorethroat on mon night, then flu on tue night. i know that im bound to get a fever everytime i get a sorethroat. i went to the toilet just now, i saw my face twice as red as compared to normal days and im haing hot flushes. its alr day 1 of CNY so i didnt want to take any chances. i was still thinking of taking the panadol for fever or the panadol for cold. and was wondering if i cud take one of them each. but i the end i decided to take the one for fever. and i'll pop as many strepsils as i can tml.

ok, its time for the panadols to take effect. i shall go try slping alr.

hope i'll feel better tml.

im crossing my fingers.

ang pows ang pows here i come!!!

eiLeen signed off @
5:09 AM

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

met up wif butt for dinner at sakae just now. we ate so much sia (butt, lucky we long long one time like that, if nt all our efforts wasted! lol). as usual crap abt a lot of funny stuffs. after dinner we then went to marks and spencer. in the beginning say wanted to buy this and that and after we arm ourselves with the packets of sinful tidbits, we decided to put them all back! haha. so in the end, we went to guardian to buy the black eye removal cream (butt u use liao oso tell me effective nt k?) i also bought the neutrogena masks. i spend loads again today.

butt, thanks for ur homemade cookies ya? :)

***

reached home and after bathing helped mum with the red packets, did my mask. and its so irritating that the pimple doesnt want to go away despite me trying lots of methods. arrgh! i wanted it to disappear b4 CNY but i think thats impossible alr. sianz 1/2.
anyone hu has an overnight remedy pls msg me as soon as possible ya, thanks!

***

woots, im gg crazy over Lin You Jia.

***

lalala~
looking forward to the reunion dinner tml.
Happy Chinese New Year!
and everybody win lots of $$$ ya!

ps: fellow rabbit-ers, remember not to wear red on the 1st day of CNY!

:)

eiLeen signed off @
12:37 AM

Saturday, February 02, 2008

today i scared the hell out of this little fella:

my cousin.

we were sharing a bowl of:

this bowl of seedless grapes is already half-eaten.

when i was asking him as a qns in general if grapes have seeds in them. he said dun haf and i told him have. and then i pointed to the bowl of grapes that we were sharing and said that they have seeds and that why he never spit the seeds out. then i proceeded to tell him that the seeds will grow into a plant out of his head tomorrow. then i kept scaring him with all the details like the roots,stem and fruits that will grow out. haha. omg.

im such a baddie!

he got so scared that he bit the grapes into half to check for seeds b4 chewing them.

haha. but i nt so bad until like tat la. of cus i did explain that there are 2 types of grapes. and that it was all a hoax. lol.

we 2 are still very loving la.

***

bought this the other day. i like the cover design.

yeap, im still a kiddo!

woohoo!

***

was just telling ms shoot abt the creepy creepy thingy, after hearing hers, all the more im shivering in my heart now.

i realli hafto slp with the lights on tonight.

~shivers~

eiLeen signed off @
1:06 AM