Tuesday, June 13, 2006
oh my oh my i carn believed that i dozed off till now... but im so very tired... so sorry to those whose calls or messages are unpicked, unreplied or replied in a strange or nonsensical manner... im not in a sound mind at that period... about the funeral... hmmm its already over... actually from the second day onwards everyone's mood seems to lighten up and we were actually examining and joking about peanuts there... at first i was thinking how come my aunties and uncles they all can still joke when i thought a funeral is supposed to be a very solemn affair? we all took turns to take on the night shifts... i tell u its no joke, not even me, my brother or even you may be able to take it... on sunday, those taking the night shift were me, my brother, 5th uncle and auntie and of course my cousin himself... we had to keep a lookout for cats, ensure that the joss stick is still burning and so on... we all went home around 12 plus to bathe and returned at roughly 1 plus... my uncle brought a mini portable tv so that my bro n him can watch the World Cup... after a while they gave up though - reception no good... then we decided to play mahjong to keep ourselves awake and occupied... we used peanuts as $ and each peanut is 20 cents... lol... but when 3am approaches, everybody's mind not working already so we stopped... my uncle by now is already sleeping in the car... i then took a chair n put it against the wall and another for me to prop up my legs, my aunt n bro too... i listened to music and my auntie slowly dozed off, occasionally waking up to check on us... my bro said to take turns to sleep but i carn eh... no idea why when i already had a mild headache... my bro n cousin also dozed off... those stupid cats la got so many u know... then i got to go toilet in the middle of the very silent night... u know those kind of portable metal toilets they used for funerals? the door was kinda faulty... then its like when i tried to close it tight, it went *wham!!!* ohoh i tink the echo travelled all the way from hougang avenue 3 to johor bahru... then later when i coming out, i trippedon the step and again the very loud echo came... so pai seh la woke everybody up... the chair is not very comfortable and i must say even for a person like me who is so scared of heat that the night air is very cold... im wearing jeans and my toes are freezing... time passed and it was roughly till 6 plus where i tabuleh tahan and really slept... my uncle by then had already woke up... so i turn here and there and try to find a comfortable spot to have a nap... by 7 plus, my grandparents came with my youngest aunt... so its monday and the day for my uncle's 'chu bin'... the monk had told us the day b4 to get prepared by 9.45am before the prayers start... then at 10am the monk came and we started going through the ceremony just like the other 3 days after which, my bro and uncles went up to remove the bed which my uncle had slept on... then it was time to move the coffin into the coffin car (CC)... certain religions say certain things like cannot look when coffin is being moved... and we certainly thought so but the person told us that for buddhism its ok we can look for the last time... then all those wearing 'xiao' (u know the piece of cloth which is attached to our clothings usually worn by those younger then the deceased) must take off our footwear and change into socks... then we stand behind the CC and started to send my uncle off... my uncle and cousin and my bro were told to push the back of the CC and the rest of us followed behind... my mom and aunties started sobbing along the way and i tried to control myself... and strangely enough, though both of my eyes are watery, tears only flow out of my right eye... but i still not crying so uncontrollably la... then after sending my uncle to the main road, we boarded the bus and set off for the Mandai Crematorium and something something which i had already forgotten... upon arrival, there is this board which tells u which service hall to go to for which deceased... its so high class u know... as in the whole building and everything all so high tech... we came into an aircon room where the last prayers were held... after which, my uncle's shoes, belts and those things that he used when he was living were placed ontop the coffin, then we took off the 'xiao' that we were wearing and placed it ontop too... before we set off, my 2nd uncle told us not to cry during some point i carn hear what he had said... so during the thing ah i was like trying to keep myself quiet... then we proceeded to the viewing hall, and at first i thot we see the whole coffin being burnt but no it is the process of sending the coffin in... the monk then told us to chant 'na mo ah mi tuo fo' then right in front of us the coffin is slowly being trolleyed to the burning spot... see the coffin come out canot tahan liao then i started crying... i sniffed so loudly la when my mucus all came out... i did bring tissue along with me but at that point who in the right mind will remember to take the tissue out to use? and this scene is really one that i wont forget... even my father who havent shed a tear so far cried... i heard him sniffing beside me... which only made me cry harder... even those other relatives standing behind were crying... after that we went out and took off our socks and throw it away... i tell you those who walked out of that room w/o red eyes is a person with a heart of stone... its hard to imagine my uncle lying in there and being sent off to burn... after that i heard from my father that the monk said not to cry or not to cry so loud la when the coffin is being trolleyed and just chant so as to send him to heaven... then we washed our face with flower water and went back... its already over, but i will still miss my uncle... but im glad knowing that he is in a better place... okok i spent quite some time on this already... better go start on my work soon... i felt bad for dragging my group's time and me myself not doing any work these few days... shall be going to do them now... tata...
eiLeen signed off @
6:15 AM
